Monday, September 12, 2011

Best Friends Forever

I never thought that Lana would have a "BFF" at age two - however we have a particular group of friends that we see more than any others. This group (which Bernard christened the "TESLA" group - an acronym for all five kids first initials) met when the kids were only 4 months old. Over the past two years, we have all become very close. Out of all five kids, there are only two girls - Lana and Shayne. And in addition to this, Lana and Shayne go to school together and often play together after school as well. It's a perfect recipe for them to become "Best Friends".

When you ask Lana about her friends, she will always tell you "Shayne is my best friend". If you ask her "What about xyz?", she will respond indignantly, "No, they're not my friend. Only Shayne is my friend!!"

Lana is the bossy one, the one who tells Shayne what to do, where to stand, how dare you sing when I'M singing. It's MY song and I DON'T WANT TO SHARE MY SONG WITH YOU!! Shayne isn't as bossy, but she knows what she wants, and she knows she doesn't want to do everything that Lana tells her to do! She will yell out "NOOOOOO", driving Lana crazy. Their teacher has commented "They are just like sisters, they play together, then fight for a few minutes and then are best friends again."

They are the kinds of friends that I would love to see grow up together. There is so much potential in their friendship. They could have so much fun together. Get up to so much mischief (oh wait, they already do!).

But sadly, as is often life in Hong Kong, Shayne's stay here is a temporary one. She moved here for just two years. Long enough to form strong bonds. Long enough to be my daughter's first "best friend". Within the week, Shayne will be moving overseas. 

These few weeks have been really sad for me - Lana sees Shayne five days a week at school, and usually has at least one or two out of school playdates with her as well. Seeing the girls play together and knowing that soon, this friendship will be changed by the distance... I know that kids are resilient and while Lana will definitely miss Shayne, she will make new best friends - in many ways, I think that it affects me more than Lana.

Not only will Lana be missing Shayne, but I will also be missing her gorgeous mummy who, although I haven't known for very long, has become very dear to me. Maybe because these past two years have been life-changing... it's included the beginning of motherhood, a miscarriage, a difficult pregnancy and having Maddy - Jingyu has been such a support to me through it all. 

I will miss all of our playdates, swims together, outings... but I know that this is not "goodbye". The world is smaller these days and we will stay in touch and see each other again. These days, you don't need to live in the same city, or even the same country, to maintain a friendship.

And although Lana and Shayne will not see as much of each other, I know that their friendship too may last for many years to come. They have a special bond - and although distance will change that, it will also give us more of an excuse to go visit her :)

So instead of focusing on the "goodbye", I'm looking back at all the fun we've had together over the past two years - the bonds we've made and the memories too. And I'm trusting that although change is inevitable, we can continue to build more memories for many years into the future :)